15 February 2012

A wobbling reality

Berlin seems to be a topsy-turvy teeter-totter of plentitude and sparsity.  I'm sitting in a Turkisch Backeri with W-LAN around the corner from my temporary home on Schillerpromenade.  My right shoulder is killing me and I don't know why.  Probably a combination of bad posture and stress.  I have cramps and a job interview.  I'm a good actor.  I'll act like I feel fabulous!
I interviewed for two different rooms yesterday.  One in a Housing Project with 17 people.  It was quiet and clean with not too many rules.  I would definitely live there.  Also, it was in Kreuzberg, a neighborhood I adore.  The other was with one other person in Wedding, a neighborhood I am not crazy about.  The woman was sweet, a social worker working in the anti-psychiatry sector.  Here apartment was clean and with character, a romantic red rose motif.  She suffered from agoraphobia and smoked in the kitchen.  I have come to accept that smoking inside is just something I will have to deal with.  I asked her if there was wireless internet.  She said yes but that she didn't like to share her password.  I tried to explain  to her that just because I used her internet signal did not mean I had access to her files.  She really liked me and actually, we got along well, but I will not move in there unless she trusts me enough to give me her password.
Honestly, the place I end up next doesn't really matter in the long-long-term.  I have to be able to live there until June, sublet for 2.5 months, and come back to it.  And then, if I want to, I can look for my dream home. 
The only sure thing in my life right now is that I have improv rehearsal on Thursday nights and an improv show on Friday nights until the beginning of April.  Thank god for this.  Also, after a year-long hiatus from using language onstage and a 10 year hiatus from slam poetry, I have decided it is time to start rocking the Berlin poetry slam scene.  Poetry slam is a relatively new genre in Germany, and there are a few English Language slams.  I've been writing a lot of slam style poems lately, and I have quite a few oldies up my sleeve as well.  I have decided that this will be my performance at Pizza Sonntag on Sunday.  Dammit, there are enough challenges going on in my life right now.  I should allow myself to do what I do well and enjoy a little success. 
Get ready, Berlin, because this lady slam poet is about to take you over!

And just to be clear, even though everything is so, so hard right now, I am still glad I quit the shitty Au Pair job.  And I am so, so thankful for Robert.

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