13 February 2012

The harsh reality of internet addiction

Here I am, in my new (if temporary) small kitchen with humming refrigerator.  It is nice to have my own life again, to eat oatmeal and drink coffee in a room designed to to especially that.  To not feel like I might be in way, asked to move, alter my activity, babysit at a moments notice.  I woke up alone in my new room and did yoga!  It was the first time in a long time.  This body is creaky!  But I will come back to myself, maybe quicker then anticipated.  Still, I'm not sure what I will perform at Pizza Sonntag on Sunday.  I have 6 days to make something work.  Maybe I will bring back the slam poet or just tell a story.  It's an English speaking crowd.  Why not?

The two things that are not so great about my temporary residence (I've got to find a place by February 29th) are that the washing machine is busted and that there is no internet.  While there is one network that is not password protected that I keep trying to jump on, there is still no internet.  All my bars light up, but no internet.  Now, this really shouldn't be such a big deal.  There are internet cafes, I have a caring partner who is a 15 minute walk away and lets me use his internet.  Really, I should be more upset about the washing machine.

The thing is, I'm not!

I am hooked on facebook
On chat
On email and google
Blogs and pictures of cats being cute
Youtube videos of babies having temper tantrums
Dairy cows with abscesses
And online public transit planners
I need the internet to feel close to you because
I'm all out of English Language books to read
I need the internet because it's winter in Berlin and I want to look at photos of the sun
Burning magma explosions and fire
What about my google translate?
Oy vey?

Last night at around 8 I went out, hunted the street for a nearby bar or cafe with wireless, couldn't find one, didn't feel like going all the way to Silver Future, which is about a 30 minute walk.  So into every open kneipe I went, "Hast du internet?" or, when I remember the correct way to say it, "Habt ihr internet?"  No luck anywhere.  Finally I came home, drank a bottle of Secco with my new roommate, Franchesco who is Italian and very sweet.  He's only lived here for one week.  All of us are in such a temporary state.  There's an owner-move-in eviction happening on March 1st, so everyone is leaving.  The other roommates are a guy from York, England named Tom who is not too social and a Chinese girl who no one ever sees.
This is the point where it gets hard.  This is the point were I get scared...again.  I've been in Berlin 5 months, have nowhere to call home here, no where to call home in SF, am not sure how I am going to work at the Randall Museum this summer without a place there to call home, still have to buy a bus ticket to London to catch my flight from London Heathrow to Newark New Jersey and then buy a plane ticket from New York to San Francisco and I start working 4 or 5 days after I get to SF.  Guys, I'm terrified. But I just take a deep breath, remind myself that now that I have some level of comfort in my home environment, I can start focusing on German again and that no matter what happens to me, I have Improv on Thursday and Friday nights.

Also, I have an interview in a WG tomorrow for a place that would be permanent.  It's not in a very interesting neighborhood, but at this point, I don't care.  It's near the U6 and the U9, which can take me to somewhere else and that's good enough for me.  Also, I have a job interview on Wednesday at the Center to be a teaching artist and that is VERY exciting.  Now to put my shoes on and go find a cafe with internet.


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