Berlin seems to be a topsy-turvy teeter-totter of plentitude and sparsity. I'm sitting in a Turkisch Backeri with W-LAN around the corner from my temporary home on Schillerpromenade. My right shoulder is killing me and I don't know why. Probably a combination of bad posture and stress. I have cramps and a job interview. I'm a good actor. I'll act like I feel fabulous!
I interviewed for two different rooms yesterday. One in a Housing Project with 17 people. It was quiet and clean with not too many rules. I would definitely live there. Also, it was in Kreuzberg, a neighborhood I adore. The other was with one other person in Wedding, a neighborhood I am not crazy about. The woman was sweet, a social worker working in the anti-psychiatry sector. Here apartment was clean and with character, a romantic red rose motif. She suffered from agoraphobia and smoked in the kitchen. I have come to accept that smoking inside is just something I will have to deal with. I asked her if there was wireless internet. She said yes but that she didn't like to share her password. I tried to explain to her that just because I used her internet signal did not mean I had access to her files. She really liked me and actually, we got along well, but I will not move in there unless she trusts me enough to give me her password.
Honestly, the place I end up next doesn't really matter in the long-long-term. I have to be able to live there until June, sublet for 2.5 months, and come back to it. And then, if I want to, I can look for my dream home.
The only sure thing in my life right now is that I have improv rehearsal on Thursday nights and an improv show on Friday nights until the beginning of April. Thank god for this. Also, after a year-long hiatus from using language onstage and a 10 year hiatus from slam poetry, I have decided it is time to start rocking the Berlin poetry slam scene. Poetry slam is a relatively new genre in Germany, and there are a few English Language slams. I've been writing a lot of slam style poems lately, and I have quite a few oldies up my sleeve as well. I have decided that this will be my performance at Pizza Sonntag on Sunday. Dammit, there are enough challenges going on in my life right now. I should allow myself to do what I do well and enjoy a little success.
Get ready, Berlin, because this lady slam poet is about to take you over!
And just to be clear, even though everything is so, so hard right now, I am still glad I quit the shitty Au Pair job. And I am so, so thankful for Robert.
Showing posts with label WG. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WG. Show all posts
15 February 2012
13 February 2012
The harsh reality of internet addiction
Here I am, in my new (if temporary) small kitchen with humming refrigerator. It is nice to have my own life again, to eat oatmeal and drink coffee in a room designed to to especially that. To not feel like I might be in way, asked to move, alter my activity, babysit at a moments notice. I woke up alone in my new room and did yoga! It was the first time in a long time. This body is creaky! But I will come back to myself, maybe quicker then anticipated. Still, I'm not sure what I will perform at Pizza Sonntag on Sunday. I have 6 days to make something work. Maybe I will bring back the slam poet or just tell a story. It's an English speaking crowd. Why not?
The two things that are not so great about my temporary residence (I've got to find a place by February 29th) are that the washing machine is busted and that there is no internet. While there is one network that is not password protected that I keep trying to jump on, there is still no internet. All my bars light up, but no internet. Now, this really shouldn't be such a big deal. There are internet cafes, I have a caring partner who is a 15 minute walk away and lets me use his internet. Really, I should be more upset about the washing machine.
The thing is, I'm not!
I am hooked on facebook
On chat
On email and google
Blogs and pictures of cats being cute
Youtube videos of babies having temper tantrums
Dairy cows with abscesses
And online public transit planners
I need the internet to feel close to you because
I'm all out of English Language books to read
I need the internet because it's winter in Berlin and I want to look at photos of the sun
Burning magma explosions and fire
What about my google translate?
Oy vey?
Last night at around 8 I went out, hunted the street for a nearby bar or cafe with wireless, couldn't find one, didn't feel like going all the way to Silver Future, which is about a 30 minute walk. So into every open kneipe I went, "Hast du internet?" or, when I remember the correct way to say it, "Habt ihr internet?" No luck anywhere. Finally I came home, drank a bottle of Secco with my new roommate, Franchesco who is Italian and very sweet. He's only lived here for one week. All of us are in such a temporary state. There's an owner-move-in eviction happening on March 1st, so everyone is leaving. The other roommates are a guy from York, England named Tom who is not too social and a Chinese girl who no one ever sees.
This is the point where it gets hard. This is the point were I get scared...again. I've been in Berlin 5 months, have nowhere to call home here, no where to call home in SF, am not sure how I am going to work at the Randall Museum this summer without a place there to call home, still have to buy a bus ticket to London to catch my flight from London Heathrow to Newark New Jersey and then buy a plane ticket from New York to San Francisco and I start working 4 or 5 days after I get to SF. Guys, I'm terrified. But I just take a deep breath, remind myself that now that I have some level of comfort in my home environment, I can start focusing on German again and that no matter what happens to me, I have Improv on Thursday and Friday nights.
Also, I have an interview in a WG tomorrow for a place that would be permanent. It's not in a very interesting neighborhood, but at this point, I don't care. It's near the U6 and the U9, which can take me to somewhere else and that's good enough for me. Also, I have a job interview on Wednesday at the Center to be a teaching artist and that is VERY exciting. Now to put my shoes on and go find a cafe with internet.
-H.
The two things that are not so great about my temporary residence (I've got to find a place by February 29th) are that the washing machine is busted and that there is no internet. While there is one network that is not password protected that I keep trying to jump on, there is still no internet. All my bars light up, but no internet. Now, this really shouldn't be such a big deal. There are internet cafes, I have a caring partner who is a 15 minute walk away and lets me use his internet. Really, I should be more upset about the washing machine.
The thing is, I'm not!
I am hooked on facebook
On chat
On email and google
Blogs and pictures of cats being cute
Youtube videos of babies having temper tantrums
Dairy cows with abscesses
And online public transit planners
I need the internet to feel close to you because
I'm all out of English Language books to read
I need the internet because it's winter in Berlin and I want to look at photos of the sun
Burning magma explosions and fire
What about my google translate?
Oy vey?
Last night at around 8 I went out, hunted the street for a nearby bar or cafe with wireless, couldn't find one, didn't feel like going all the way to Silver Future, which is about a 30 minute walk. So into every open kneipe I went, "Hast du internet?" or, when I remember the correct way to say it, "Habt ihr internet?" No luck anywhere. Finally I came home, drank a bottle of Secco with my new roommate, Franchesco who is Italian and very sweet. He's only lived here for one week. All of us are in such a temporary state. There's an owner-move-in eviction happening on March 1st, so everyone is leaving. The other roommates are a guy from York, England named Tom who is not too social and a Chinese girl who no one ever sees.
This is the point where it gets hard. This is the point were I get scared...again. I've been in Berlin 5 months, have nowhere to call home here, no where to call home in SF, am not sure how I am going to work at the Randall Museum this summer without a place there to call home, still have to buy a bus ticket to London to catch my flight from London Heathrow to Newark New Jersey and then buy a plane ticket from New York to San Francisco and I start working 4 or 5 days after I get to SF. Guys, I'm terrified. But I just take a deep breath, remind myself that now that I have some level of comfort in my home environment, I can start focusing on German again and that no matter what happens to me, I have Improv on Thursday and Friday nights.
Also, I have an interview in a WG tomorrow for a place that would be permanent. It's not in a very interesting neighborhood, but at this point, I don't care. It's near the U6 and the U9, which can take me to somewhere else and that's good enough for me. Also, I have a job interview on Wednesday at the Center to be a teaching artist and that is VERY exciting. Now to put my shoes on and go find a cafe with internet.
-H.
07 January 2012
Clown Workshop today and the Ponderance of "Home"
I really want to write a post about my new neighborhood, Kruezberg, but I think I'll wait to take some more photos so I can actually show you what it looks like as well as tell you about the vibrant colors of the murals and graffiti. It definitely rivals San Francisco's Mission District in terms of 2-D street art.
My new living arrangement has it's high points and low points. I think I'm still adjusting. It's true, I have my own room and bathroom on a separate floor from the family whose children I'm caring for, but it seems that when I was told that the living room was not used much, what the parents really meant was that THEY don't use the living room so often. There was a family from Hamburg with three or four kids staying in it for 2 nights. This I am completely fine with, but I wish someone had told me in advance. It was a complete surprise. I think I will ask the mother to please keep me informed of guests in the living room for my mental health and such. My "kitchen" (an electric kettle, fridge, sink, microwave and two burner portable electric stove) is in the living room, and well, it's disconcerting to feel like you can't make yourself i cup of tea without being "on," especially when you have planned quiet, reclusive evening of noodles, tea and Kurt Vonnegut for yourself and then an army of sugared-up (yet adorable) kids arrive.
Still, I can't complain much. I am, after all, living rent free.
The upside to this gentle invasion was that the visitors offered to take Younis to Kita on Friday morning, so I got to go to Roberts dinner party, where I met some great people. They spoke English with me but mostly German with each other, little of which I understood. My progress with the language is slow but noticeable, though in a party environment with people talking fast and several conversations going on at once, I don't stand a chance.
My trip across the Atlantic, my decision to stay in a country where I struggle with language, it has made me think about the concept of home a lot. What the hell is home? I had one in San Francisco, a place where I felt safe and protected, almost up to the point when I left. Then I made the mistake of letting someone I was dating move in with me and my feeling safety vanished. I got a little back in the end, when he moved out (finally) 3 weeks before I left the continent. Living at Bridge's plae on Hermannstraße, I couldn't relax. I felt extreme comfort at Tobi and Jana's place in Lichtenberg, a type of acceptance and a willingness to let me be myself that I strive for in a living situation, but I knew from the beginning that it was a temporary situation, living in other people's rooms, surrounded by other people's things.
Now I have my own space but there are unspoken rules that I must abide by. I hang out at Robert's house a lot get along with his roommates. I'm comfortable here. Is where I live home? Is Robert's flat home? Do I still have a home in California? My stuff and some of my friends are there. Hmm, things to think about.
I am searching for a home that is mine, a WG (community living space) in March or April. A place with only adults, where I can make eggs and coffee in my underwear if I want to, where I can feel completely comfortable having friends over. We will see.
In other news, I am co-teaching a clowning and dance workshop today at the Shake! Zirkus from 2 to 5. Getting paid to do what I do well! Oh, yes!
My new living arrangement has it's high points and low points. I think I'm still adjusting. It's true, I have my own room and bathroom on a separate floor from the family whose children I'm caring for, but it seems that when I was told that the living room was not used much, what the parents really meant was that THEY don't use the living room so often. There was a family from Hamburg with three or four kids staying in it for 2 nights. This I am completely fine with, but I wish someone had told me in advance. It was a complete surprise. I think I will ask the mother to please keep me informed of guests in the living room for my mental health and such. My "kitchen" (an electric kettle, fridge, sink, microwave and two burner portable electric stove) is in the living room, and well, it's disconcerting to feel like you can't make yourself i cup of tea without being "on," especially when you have planned quiet, reclusive evening of noodles, tea and Kurt Vonnegut for yourself and then an army of sugared-up (yet adorable) kids arrive.
Still, I can't complain much. I am, after all, living rent free.
The upside to this gentle invasion was that the visitors offered to take Younis to Kita on Friday morning, so I got to go to Roberts dinner party, where I met some great people. They spoke English with me but mostly German with each other, little of which I understood. My progress with the language is slow but noticeable, though in a party environment with people talking fast and several conversations going on at once, I don't stand a chance.
My trip across the Atlantic, my decision to stay in a country where I struggle with language, it has made me think about the concept of home a lot. What the hell is home? I had one in San Francisco, a place where I felt safe and protected, almost up to the point when I left. Then I made the mistake of letting someone I was dating move in with me and my feeling safety vanished. I got a little back in the end, when he moved out (finally) 3 weeks before I left the continent. Living at Bridge's plae on Hermannstraße, I couldn't relax. I felt extreme comfort at Tobi and Jana's place in Lichtenberg, a type of acceptance and a willingness to let me be myself that I strive for in a living situation, but I knew from the beginning that it was a temporary situation, living in other people's rooms, surrounded by other people's things.
Now I have my own space but there are unspoken rules that I must abide by. I hang out at Robert's house a lot get along with his roommates. I'm comfortable here. Is where I live home? Is Robert's flat home? Do I still have a home in California? My stuff and some of my friends are there. Hmm, things to think about.
I am searching for a home that is mine, a WG (community living space) in March or April. A place with only adults, where I can make eggs and coffee in my underwear if I want to, where I can feel completely comfortable having friends over. We will see.
In other news, I am co-teaching a clowning and dance workshop today at the Shake! Zirkus from 2 to 5. Getting paid to do what I do well! Oh, yes!
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